搞不懂自己怎么了？

为什么我打球那么放不开？我不懂。。。为什么我总是要想那么多？练球时都可以打跟比赛差得和好远哦。。。I’m really a coward…I can’t blame anyone also…一次又一次的失败，我已经没有多少个下一次了。。。可不可以争气一点啊？有时候真的很讨厌及生气自己。。。那么简单的东西也做不到。。。为什么呢？放不开就不能发挥啊。。。
还有，我真的很害怕去面对某些人。。。真的很可怕。。。他们真的很可恶。。。是不是应该证明给那些看不起我的人看我是能的？但，我也不知道怎么去证明？？？自己都不能做到。。。还能怎么做呢？失败失败失败，我彻底的失败了。。。我输了给自己。。。I really tired…tired of everything…can I go to a place which all dunno who am i?i wanna start a new life…a successful life…pls believe in myself I sure can do it de…是否一切真的还可以？我的努力会不会有结果呢？我的努力是不是白费的？没人知道，只有我自己才能证明一切。。。

与宇中上台唱歌

2008年11月27日
TARC，4PM（音乐会5.15PM才开始，等他的时间都是值得的！哈！）
今天的我很开心，因为不但能见到我的偶像~林宇中。。。我还跟他近距离接触（哈哈，别想歪。。。只是上台跟他合唱而已。。。）这样我已经很满足咯。。。当时主持人（文康）只是说有谁要上台跟宇中交流？？只限7人哦！但没有奖品的！没想到一向害羞的我竟然毫不犹豫的举起手来，心想我没可能那么幸运的啦！当主持人叫到第五位时还没轮到我，我心想应该没有可能轮到我了吧！没想到到第六个就是我啦！身旁的朋友说他叫你了！我带着即开心又紧张的心情上台。。。我还是第一次那么大胆而已耶！连我自己也不敢想象。。。主持人叫我们自我介绍后说我要你们选一首最喜欢宇中的歌来唱，我选了“主题曲”来唱。。。唱完了宇中说：“WOW！很好，竟然能一字不漏的唱出来，佩服佩服！”他还为我鼓掌哦！全场的朋友也为我鼓掌哦！我真的很高兴，心中的喜悦是无法用言语来形容的！过后要选出最好的三位参赛者，以观众的掌声来选出。。。我得到了！很高兴哦！我们三位得了他的海报+他代言的水两瓶哦！宇中把奖品颁给我们，他很有诚意的说声恭喜及谢谢支持！
给他签完名后我就出发到GURNEY 去咯！(8PM，GURNEY签唱会)
在GURNEY他逗留的时间比较短，唱完两首歌后就开始签名了！我再度上台给他签名。。。他还记得我哦!他笑着对我说：“Ei，你也过来这里啊？谢谢支持！”我就说：“对啊！继续加油哦！”
林宇中给我的感觉是个非常谦虚，friendly，很认真，努力，积极及非常有才华的创作歌手！真的很欣赏他！林宇中，加油哦！我会永远支持你！我也会以你为榜样哦！Gambatek!^^

my feeling after 1st sem

now alr 3.20am d...i havent sleep...tonight is my last day stay at usm for tis sem....actually i wanna back 2night but finally i choose 2 back 2mr morning....haha....time flies so fast...my 1st sem in usm over d..."Times n Tide wait for no man"...Look back...nw i alr 20 yrs old d...still hav 2 more months i become 21 d...haih...i really old d....suddenly i miss the time when i'm in primary sch n secondary sch...although university life very free but nt like studying in primary/secondary....lecturer nt even know us....dun talk about lecturer la...our own coursemates also dunno....haha....mayb i still havent adapt with university life....i think i nt regret with my decision that choose USM to study....i must appreaciate tis opportunity but nt grouse....
i choose econ 2 major....nw i'm considering which course 2 minor...i must think probably so that i wont regret next time...evrytime i also regret after making decision...hopefully tis time i wont regret anymore...i must study hard.....i can make it de....hope i can learn sth n help me in my future.....

12.11.08 (exam skw 120~pcghs~redbox)

Today 2nd last paper d...skw120 statistic for social science...9-10am...

After exam we desire 2 go redbox sing k...included ek, ct, ky, yn, sy n me...

Before we go redbox ek n me go back pcghs 2 take back 2007 sch magazine n

visit some sch teachers....they all said wanna follow us 2 our sch....wanna visit our sch...

then we go d lo...they said pcghs very nice...i think so cos pcghs juz renovate....the toilets also

renovate...haha....but we alr graduated...T.T...

anyway, is ok la...i pround 2 be pcghs student also...

many teachers still remember us......the teachers we find include Pn. Sew(math2), Mr.Tan(math 1), Pn. chuah, Pn Cheok, Ng Ah Lan(ping pong),Pn Seow Beng Lee n Miss Yee...ek n me enjoy talking with our teachers...we long time din back pcghs d...we really miss the time when we r in secondary sch...n we miss the teachers n frens too....but time fly so fast...we r now in university....haih....

wat we can do is go back visit our teachers n charish whatever we hav nw...i think be a student is a very happy moments....i'll treasure it...we stay at pcghs about more than 2 hours...we

promised sch teachers will back 2 visit them when we r free next time....

opss....talking so happily 4gt bout 4 of our frens d....nw time around 12.15pm d...

we faster call redbox 2 book for the room, the person in charge said juz left 3pm only...

at last, we book 3pm's room....after we hav our lunch at good all, we go gurney d....

we shopping a while then when time around 2.40pm we go redbox d....

when we go thr wait for a while then 3pm we go in sing k d....

we enjoy ourselves so much...after that we go good all hav our dinner then back usm d...

we really so happy n enjoy..hope next time gt chance lo...

爱情

爱情真的是个很奥妙的事情...在你没有任何准备下来袭击你。。那种感觉有点惊讶但真的很甜蜜~很温馨。。在你需要的时候对方会关心你~无条件地为你付出一切！生命中如果有了爱情的滋润会更好~更完美！但好景不会常在，当你觉得‘它’在你的生命中不可缺少的一部分时。。。它就会渐渐的消失到无影无踪！那个时候你将会心痛的无法呼吸！一场失败的爱情是个笑话？热的时候心暖如麻~但冷了以后每一句都可怕！如果你拥有它就应该好好地珍惜！但不一定珍惜后就不会消失，而是要符合"仁和~天使~地利"！
或許失戀是每個人都必須經歷的過程!心里酸酸的~別害怕!那就大聲哭出來吧!回憶你們一起走過的日子...回憶永遠都是美好的!因為"不在乎天長地久, 只在乎曾经拥有"!
不該怪任何人!爱情本來就不需道理!因為爱情真的需要看緣分!分開未必是一件壞事~可能是上天給你們的考驗!也可能上天要安排另一個更好的或更適合你的跟你相遇!期待吧!跌倒了,爬起來~察乾眼漯,繼續向前走!'他'在前方等著你的到來!

大学的日子

不知不觉上了大学快一个sem了。。。
“当初还懵懵懂懂的。。。不知道该选择UUM或USM。。。听了很多人的意见，各不同。。
很烦，越听越乱。。而且时间剩下不多。。。最后我决定选择了USM。。。
然而，我做了这个决定后必须面对的问题也很多！~钱是最大的问题！
虽然最后还是解决了，但过程没人能了解！
但，我并不后悔当初我选择的决定。。。
最算当初很多人都反对我进USM，说我不应该转大学。。。
有些人甚至妒忌我，说我特别幸运。。。但他们都不知道我曾经付出过多少！
每个人的成功都是必须靠努力的。。。有谁可以告诉我成功是没有经过努力的？
没错我确实比有些人幸运，但我也有付出啊！
我在道路上是个路痴，在人生道路上也是如此！
我必须比别人付出更多我想要的！我不会使用捷径，反而需要绕更长远的路线才能到达目的地。。。
不过，我很感谢身旁的亲戚朋友。。。在我需要的时候给我帮助及指点，让我觉得很温暖及不必走冤枉的路！
在这里（USM）我真的遇到很多贵人。。Seniors们都很疼我~帮助我。。。真的很感激那些帮助我的人！
对于您们的帮忙献上我的无尽感恩。。。
在这儿我参加了PPB（理大佛学会~家外之家），很荣幸我当上PE（pembantu exco）
我不知道自己有没有能力当上PE，但我会尽力做到最好！
理大游子吟（因为我很想学音乐，之前都没机会）
还有我在这儿可以-打乒乓（我一定要打到最好）。。还有我还要在这儿读好书！
然而我明白了一件事~我一定要兼顾学业与运动！
我一定能做到最好！要相信自己哦！加油！^^”
考试要到了要加油哦！

i lost myself....need 2 find some way out...

Haih...i really really very stress lo...sometime really think myself a loser...i really very lost...final exam is coming soon...n i din prepare yet...
18 October is our projek warga presentation...we din gt into final...but i think our group do very best leh...haih....maybe luck didn't stand our side...
18 n 19 October also penang open table tennis competition...haih....team we just gt silver....actually can gt champion de but i lost 2 points....all my fault.....really feel so guilty lo....although they didn't blame me somemore console me said that i play well d...but i really hate myself lo....juz cos i scare so cant play well...dunno y i so stress n din play well...my hand keep on shaking....cos many things appear in my mind....dunno y....really think that i'm a loser.....i really do nothing for USM...haih......anyone can tell me wat should i do?
but nw wat more important is my final exam....coming soon.......but i havent prepare..........help me............
dunno...i alr lost myself.....need 2 find a way........help me!

recently so weird...

recently so weird.....many best friends tell me they r in sad situation...may, ek n sl n others told me they r sad this few days...they gt their own reasons...some cos of study, relationship n also friends...
i also gt the same situation....my mood also the same.....i really sad, stress n down recently........my tears didnt listen to me these 2 days........luckily when it come out nobody saw it....i dun wan let my family and friends sad also,i dun wan they worry bout me....so i wil pretend nothing in front of ppls,when tears wanna come out i'll swallow it....but my tears come out uncontrolly....19 oct when i'm in hostel, my tears also come out uncontrolly,but i cant control...so i faster go bath n pretend nth....i dunno whether she saw it....haha........nvm.....i juz dun wan let anyone worry bout me....i'll be ok....need some times...ju, stand up n cheer up....u can do it de!wat is over dun think back,juz take it as an experience,as long as u tried ur best,no one can blame u....gambatek!my dear friend, u all also can make it de! let's jia you 2gather...there r bright n slumber tomorrow waiting for us! dun give up!smile!^^
u can do it, u must do it!

你的无情，我的爱情

为什么你对我来说是多么难以忘记
都那么多年了我还是 那么爱你
只要我闭上眼睛就有千百万个你
但。。。。。。。。
为什么你要那么绝？
就算当不了情人也可以当朋友啊。。。
不必说当时的什么山盟海誓了，
我们连朋友都做不成。。。
你一句话也不跟我说，到底是为什么？？？
你已经变了，你已经不是我当初认识的那个人了。。。
也已经渐渐的从我的世界消失了。。。
我那么令你恨吗？我到底错在哪里？你的心是铁做的吗？
我要的很简单，只要知道你过得好不好。。。
就算没有你的问候我也无所谓。。。
这样简单的东西你也给不到吗？
有谁可以告诉我？我快崩溃了。。。